


Pictures of You

by laykay



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Inspired By Tumblr, dead/dying Laura, lonely Carmilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 17:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3258461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laykay/pseuds/laykay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You miss her.  God, do you miss her but never have to live without her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pictures of You

**Author's Note:**

> I should not be allowed on my computer when I'm running a fever and I'm sorry. This is all to blame: http://reallytinylaura.tumblr.com/post/109593117003/pawtism-helioscentrifuge-breastforce

There are moments that are easier than others and there are the moments that feel like your heart will claw it’s way out of your chest because it hurts so much, it can’t bear to be inside of you anymore.

Laura’s been dead for thirty years and everyday you miss her, everyday you live with the regret of not turning her when she told you she was sick, that you insisted she would be better off with whatever fate dealt her than eternity as a vampire. “I want this, Carm,” she’d said. “I want to be with you. Forever.” But it wasn’t what she wanted and you knew that, she'd been given an expiration date and panic had set in. It was the fear and the illness speaking.

You tried to make it as peaceful for her as possible. You sit with her and read to her, you hold her when she's cold and when her illness takes over her brain, when she can't recognize you, when you can't calm her as she screams at you to leave her, you sleep on the couch because she needs you, even if she doesn't realize it. You lose her little by little, then came the day that you lost her completely. Her physical body was gone, buried next to her mother. 

Laura’s image is everywhere in the apartment, with the smile she kept just for you, a timeline of the relationship that ended too soon. You were robbed, you should have had more than seven years with her but you never have to go a day without her.

The television is set to come on as soon as you walk into the living room and Laura’s voice fills the space as the old vlogs begin playing. She lived in the age of selfies and silly cell phone candids and, thankfully, YouTube. You can see her face and hear her voice and rewatch the moments you fell in love.

You miss her. God, do you miss her but never have to live without her.


End file.
